This may well be the most tasteless idea I've ever had. I apologize in advance for this one:

Barry Fiddler was once a mild mannered mascot for Ernest's Crab Shack until . . . he was bitten by a radioactive crab! Then, after numerous doctors appointments, he became . . .

The Unstoppable Cancer!

"I've got three weeks to live, B*&@#ES, and I don't give a F%$K!"

What kind of superhero powers did he get?

"None! I just got CANCER!"

What motivates him to fight crime?

"Why not? What have I got to loose? I'm DYING!"

If you like him and want to see him made into a figurine or toy, vote for him on Patch Together: http://patchtogether.com/designs/designs/view/id/1397